Molossia and its Ban of Incandescents

On March 1, 2007, the tiny nation of Molossia became the first to ban incandescent bulbs, beating out even those forward-thinking Californians and Brits, the internationally recognized champions of future (and sometimes failed) causes.

His Excellency, President Kevin Baugh, became the first to remove an offending incandescent and replace it with a compact fluorescent. Baugh had initially supported the use of flaming torches, in keeping with the nation’s rudimentary approach to technology, but sources report that this resulted in a lot of choking and coughing, which interrupted Baugh’s subsequent speech on modernization.

Molossia, first founded in 1977, is a sovereign, independent nation, or Republic, located in Nevada in the Southwestern U.S. It comprises slightly more than six acres, located on the Eastern side of the sagebrush-and-jackrabbit ridden Sierra Nevada Mountains, and has a population of four (including the president). The actual transition – from incandescents to fluorescents – began two years ago. Replacing the remaining energy-hog incandescents with compact fluorescents took about half an hour. The only remaining upgrade is in Norton Park, where the floodlights remain unabashedly incandescent. The other Molossian enclave, in Southern California, is reportedly incandescent-free, but reporters who visited the site recently have remarked on a suspiciously round bulb over the podium in the Speaker’s Chamber. This journalist assumes that they ran out of the squiggly ones.

Molossians have largely supported the innovation, but Baugh himself has been reported as saying that the lights in the Presidential Refrigerator are dimmer than usual, making it difficult to conduct midnight raids. Otherwise, Molossia appears to be a nonviolent neighbor, relying primarily on horseback (rather than shuttle) diplomacy, and Nevadans report no open hostilities across the border. In fact, Molossians describe themselves as pleasant, free-spirited individuals, with no interest in extending their domain to such notable geographic highlights as Virginia City, Lake Tahoe and Reno, which coexist nearby.

Disclosure: I don’t own any stoock in any Molossian enterprise.

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